Four years. Four incredible years. That's how long Cole and I have been together. In that time, we've had so many special moments... both good and bad. Our first date. Our first kiss. Meeting friends. Our first fight. The first tears (mine). Meeting families. Our first trip away. The first "I love you" (he said it first). Moving in together. Getting engaged. Getting married. Getting pregnant. Losing our little girl. Our four year dating anniversary. There were a few other things in between, too. As I left for work this morning, Cole said, "I could've never guessed that my life would change on a blind date four years ago today." We do have so much to celebrate tonight, and just like in years past, we go back to where it all began: Plan B. 
But, as much as we have to celebrate tonight, it goes without saying that we've had a rough nine weeks. This week, in particular, has been hard for me and I don't know why. There hasn't been a singular trigger... it's not something I saw, something someone said, or anything that someone did. It's just been a tough week, where everything has seemed to bring me back to a dark place. I see pregnant moms, read the news, and hear sad stories. I walk through parking lots and pass through malls wondering, "Why them and not me?" It's terrible to think, I know, but it's something I need to work through (as referenced in TED talk).
After work, I met Cole at Plan B. He was sitting in the same spot where I met him four years ago; we can be cheesy like that. He had a beer and had just ordered a glass of wine for me. We sat at the bar until we decided to request "our spot" in the dining room. As we waited to be seated, we passed a couple who was pregnant and on the way to the bathroom with their preschool-aged son; we were seated next to this same couple for dinner.
Something Cole and I have always been judgmental about is the family who plops their kid in front of a tablet for the entirety of dinner, with no social interaction. Cole and I sat and admired how much this family interacted during dinner: the mother and son were sifting through a coloring book together, with each pointing out colors and animals to each other. We appreciated this pregnant mom and dad, who were excitedly looking through a book with their son over dinner. We admired it so much that we decided to take care of dinner for this expectant family of three (plus one).
Cole sought out their waiter (who also happened to be the bar manager that enabled Cole to be the first New Belgium tap in CT last week), and offered his credit card. I quickly penned a note explaining what we wanted to do for them, and why we wanted to do it - we wanted to celebrate their family and wish them well in the coming months. As Cole and I enjoyed our four year anniversary dinner, the family was handed the note with their paid-for dinner. While no looks or words were ever exchanged, that's not what we were looking for. Honestly, we were just looking to put a smile on a young family's face. We left Plan B tonight happy to celebrate something in addition to ourselves, by celebrating the people (and parents) that we want to be someday.
And it felt good.
This is beautiful... <3
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