Day 14: The Wisdom of TED

We initially planned on a different "first" yesterday, but Mother Nature didn't cooperate with us. Knowing that it is always good to have a fallback plan (or two) in place, we lined up a few quick-fire firsts which paid off for the first time last night. We were each familiar with TED Talks, but Ellaine had never watched any, and we definitely have not watched or discussed any together.  

Going through the catalog, Ellaine found "Why we need to all practice emotional first aid" offered by a Swedish Psychologist, Guy Winch. Thinking this was exactly the type of learning experience we were seeking out, we settled in to watch it together. 

Guy's basic premise is simple: we go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain, so why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain? Though he never touched directly on loss within the talk, he did hit some unexpected points that both Ellaine and I have been guilty of.  

Setting the stage for why emotional hygiene matters, Guy illustrated that multiple studies have indicated that loneliness is as damaging to your health (or lifespan) as obesity or smoking. Holding onto and internalizing emotional pains like loneliness, rejection / fear of rejection, or failure impact both your mental and physical well being.  

By not addressing psychological pain, we are more vulnerable to stress and anxiety, that failures and rejections hurt even more. We need to treat ourselves and protect our self-esteem. I am most guilty of ruminating: holding onto something for far too long and letting small events ruin large portions of time. The urge to ruminate has a strong internal feedback in all of us and can be a difficult habit to break. To combat this, we need to recognize and then break the cycle. Each time we find ourselves ruminating, we need to battle negative thinking and "distract" ourselves by consciously thinking of something else. Just a two-minute period of breaking the thought cycle is enough to start combating this.

I have read elsewhere that many emotions are like muscles that need to be worked out to be strengthened. Will power and discipline have been shown to be limited resources that get stronger the more you use them. I see a strong correlation to this discussion 
on strengthening our own mental well being. Ellaine and I will be working to bring introspection to our actions as we move forward to help how we interact with each other and others. The more we recognize our own habits, the more we will each grow as individuals and as our own unstoppable team.